Why Am I So Tired as a Mom?
We are just coming out of Mother’s Day weekend, and if you are like most moms I know, the best Mother’s Day gifts are those that involve rest and relaxation! Breakfast in bed, a long hot bath, a slow morning drinking coffee and chilling on the couch…
Because again, if you are like most moms I know, you are tired. A lot. And you have probably asked yourself the question “Why am I so tired?" more than once.
We moms have a lot on our plates. Running a family, a house, a social life, and possibly a work life or a business can be draining. But there is more to it than that! Let’s talk about what makes moms so tired, so that we can figure out what to do about it. Because let’s face it, we’d all like to have more energy, right?
The Types of Tiredness
There is more than one type of tiredness. Spiritual exhaustion, mental exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, social exhaustion, and physical exhaustion are all very real and common, particularly for young moms. Add to that the fact that there can be a lot of overlap, and frequently several of those exhaustion categories happening at the same time! Let’s touch on each one and how they affect moms.
As moms, we often struggle to find the time to be alone with God in the still and quiet. It can be hard to find time to pray. To read the Bible. To journal. To meditate. To sit and be still.
If we don’t have these things happening in our lives, we can become spiritually exhausted very quickly. There is a lot happening in the spiritual realm every day, and if we are not protected by the armor of God, we are not able to stand strong.
This is why filling ourselves daily with the Word of God and prayer is so important. We need to rest our souls with stillness in His presence. Yes, it is hard to do sometimes. But it is so, so important and will make such a big difference in finding that spiritual rest!
Thankfully, we don’t have to always have time alone to literally sit and rest in order to be filled spiritually. When that’s not possible, just communing with the Lord in your heart, meditating on Scripture, praying as you go about your day, and worshiping Him in the everyday moments will also give you spiritual rest!
Ever felt this way? Like your brain is just too tired to think any more? Decision fatigue? Too many questions to answer?
Mental exhaustion is real! Having an organized system in your days and weeks can help a lot with this. The more routines and systems you can put into place, the less thinking you have to do.
Keep in mind that mental exercise is very good for the mind! But so is rest. Look for a balance of the two.
This is a big one for moms. Women, in general, are much more emotional creatures than men - and when you add motherhood to the equation, it multiplies the emotion by a lot! I remember as a girl, inwardly marveling at how often adult women (moms in particular) cried. I no longer marvel! We care very deeply about our children, our husbands, our friends, our kids’ friends, the world our kids will grow up in, etc. And that is good. God made us to care deeply; to feel deeply.
But we also need emotional rest. Entrusting our cares to the Lord and knowing that He cares even more than we do is key. But additionally, we need to support out emotional health with all the things that physically
help the mind and emotions: a healthy diet, plenty of quality sleep, lots of fresh air and exercise, close friends, strong relationships, balanced hormones, and giving ourselves time to have fun and relax.
I often wonder why we abuse ourselves by committing to such a constant, pressurized stream of social activity. Activities and appointments of every kind fill the calendars of most moms. And how many of those activities are actually bringing joy, energy, and fulfillment to life, versus fatigue and burnout?
And then on top of that is social media and the pressure to perform and look good to the whole world. It is no wonder moms feel so socially exhausted!
We need to remember that neither we nor our kids need constant social activities to be happy and fulfilled. What w
e need is not more activities, but more true and deep relationships. Replacing some of your events and appointments with focused time with your husband and kids can help a lot. Exchanging some of that social media time with real-life visits with friends.
Talk to real people. Care about others. Build real relationships. Forget about performing for the world and all the social pressures, and rest your soul with some old-fashioned quality time with loved ones!
Moms have a lot on their plates! In today’s world, a lot more than is good for them. Our bodies were not made to handle constant action. We need rest. We need sleep, but we also need to pursue things that excite us, light us up, and give us purpose.
When was the last time you got outside and just enjoyed the beauty all around you? Or took a long hike and let yourself become aware of the various smells, sights, and sounds of nature? Have you stopped to just cuddle your baby and forget about the world? How long has it been since you’ve gotten dressed up and excited about a date with your husband?
You see, life isn’t supposed to be constant work and stress and activity. Life is about relationships, about caring for others, about being present. Enjoying the gifts in the everyday and loving all the little moments.
As moms, we need to have a major shift in the way we see our part in the world. We are the ones who nurture and bring to life. That is done best when we are focused on what truly matters in life, and not on what the culture says we should be focused on.
So mama, if you are wondering why you are always tired, take a minute to analyze these five types of exhaustion and ask God how you need to re-prioritize in order to be a well-rested mom!